Theological differences

How can a person describe to those that have been raised in a somewhat normal home, the differences experienced by those who have been abused beyond what most people can comprehend?

I almost feel sorry for those who’s religious experience has been limited to reading the bible, going to church, and being taught what to think and feel.

This is the one thing that I am thankful for about my abuse. In attempts to escape what was going on with my body, my soul, spirit, mind was elevated to different levels.

Before I was five years old I had teleported. I moved my body down the stairs in my family’s home. I could travel out side my body. I can still feel the rush of flying over the tree tops and power lines. I knew of buildings in the close country side, that you could not see from the roads. And, when I was dealing with the high stress situations after I was ran over by the car, I could pick up on people thoughts. So, many things that could not be explained by traditional religious experiences.

As I searched for answers, to become a whole and function human being, I had to leave the traditional teachings of the church further behind. Even Dr. Ralph Allison, the forensic psychiatrist that lead the discovery and treatment plans for multiple personality patients, believes that healing help will come from the shamans of our society.

When a child has been so traumatized, that theirs souls only way to survive was to flee from the body, leaves that child open to soul parasites and walk-ins. And, how do you describe to someone the years of hearing a voice in your head, that tells you it wants to die. No matter what you did in therapy or life made that voice go away. But, when a native american shaman gifted you with a spirit name the voice disappeared, never to be heard from again.

How do you explain to someone, how during those 10 years from 2-12 years of age, you have no memories of being a kid, but you can tell exactly how an indian tribe lived. How do you explain looking at a plant and “knowing” it was used for some sort of natural medicine.

How do you explain being chased out of a church because you “knew” who had been sexually abused as a child. How do you deal, being in a group of people at a special olympics event, and seeing the sexual predator scoping out his next victim. How do you explain being a young nurses aid and arguing with your bosses that the patient you are working with, is really in pain, because you can feel that pain. How do you explain, that when you look at some people you don’t see a person, when you look in their eyes you don’t see a person but a dark shadow instead. How do you explain to traditional christians, laying in agonizing pain for days and talking to some one line who practices reiki healing, and that pain leaving.

How do you explain working thru so much pain, and making something out of your life to have negative influences wipe out everything you have worked for. Not once, but each time you have built a life, to be continually brought back to a place when there is nothing you can do, but search out people and techniques to make you better.